Oct 9, 2015

Hi everyone!

I hope everyone is doing well. Right now I'm still in the training center in Utah but I fly out to Japan after this week, which is kind of crazy since everyone else in my zone has to stay here for 9 weeks. It's been really, really hard, and I've been down on myself more than a few times but I'm finally coming to peace with my inadequacies and insecurities (something I never thought I'd be able to do) and learning to trust in Christ. The MTC gives us so many amazing experiences to leave our comfort zones and grow. We've had a couple of devotionals AND general conference! If you haven't watched it yet please do!! You can at lds.org. After I watched it I felt that peace I was craving, that God called me to this work and He knows I can do it, that I don't have to be perfect now, but have the rest of my life to work on that. What I've learned this past week is that we have a choice to either let our weaknesses bring us down as Satan would want, or to use our weaknesses to turn to Christ who can make us strong and whole. I know that without God I wouldn't have learned as much Japanese as I have this past week, been able to stay happy, and been to stay here. If it weren't for Christ's strength I know I would be home right now, but because of Him I have found the strength to keep going. President Uchtorf said something I loved: "Moses was so discouraged he wanted to give up and die, but God didn't give up on Moses. God sees us as how we really are." Right now I'm nowhere near perfect but God sees our potential and knows how much we're worth. So we shouldn't give up on ourselves, and especially not on Him and His cause (which is us).

My district (class) has 7 people in it, 4 of which are from Japan, so communication is interesting but I'm learning a whole lot. :) They're all really cute and we get along so well. Our whole floor is going to Japan and I've made so many friends from other districts as well. There's this one Elder from Brazil who can't speak much English but always tells everyone they're "konpeki," which really means blue sky but he's trying to say "kanpeki" which means perfect. Now my district only uses "konpeki" because of him.

I've had my own language mishaps too though! During companionship study I was trying to say "ketsui" which means commitment, but I accidentally said "ketsu" which apparently means butt. It was really hard to refocus after that but at least our relationship grew because of that haha.

Even though it's hard and I fail often, I'm grateful to be here on a mission. I'm grateful for God's love for everyone and I can feel it everyday when I look at the people around me. I'm grateful for the scriptures He's given us to study and learn from and receive inspiration from. I know that He answers prayers and that He wants to help us all so much, we just have to go to Him and let him in. I teach two to three investigator lessons everyday which is kind of stressful, but I'm learning how to teach by the spirit so that it's not me teaching, but God speaking through me. Without that spirit we can't know what other people need to hear to know for themselves that God loves them.

I'm grateful for all of you and strength you have and have given me. I love you all! Have a great week this week and be safe! Apparently it's already snowing in Hokkaido so I hope I can be safe too :) Find joy despite your trials!!

Love,

Massey Shimai